you've got a heart to keep awake
by callmesandy
Summary: Kim knew intellectually having a (definitely only) one night stand with her ex-fiance now coworker was a really bad idea. (Burgess x Ruzek)


For evening_spirit. not mine, no profit garnered. Title from Carrie Lorig's scatterstate.

* * *

Kim stared at herself in the mirror while she brushed her teeth with the toothbrush and toothpaste she always carried in her purse. Like the condoms she was going to have to replace. She'd certainly ended her first week in Intelligence with a bang, she thought.

She knew intellectually having a (definitely only) one night stand with her ex-fiance now coworker was a really bad idea. But nobody would know because it wouldn't happen again. Thankfully it hadn't been some drunken public hook up at Molly's. Just two friends grabbing a coffee at the weird new coffee place a block from Adam's place.

Peppermint mocha made her do it.

Which wasn't true. She spat out her toothpaste, ran the tap to clean her toothbrush so it could go back in her purse. Kim had chosen this. Chosen to sleep with Adam, because, well, Adam. He was the farthest thing from a bad guy. He was good police. He was hot. They had great sex, which Kim gave herself some credit for.

She remembered the easy way he'd carried her to bed, she had that stupid sense memory in her head forever. He'd done it last night like he'd done it over and over again when they were together.

It wasn't like he'd gotten engaged again since they broke up. He'd grown. She'd grown.

Not that it mattered, since this was definitely a one time thing. She had that thought firm in the front of her mind as she shuffled through the room getting her clothes together from last night. Her shirt smelled like the peppermint mocha she'd spilled on it and gunpowder. Everything she owned, after one week in Intelligence, smelled like gunpowder. It was all new to her. Maybe she'd ask Erin, not like any of the guys thought about that stuff.

She sat on the edge of the bed, her clothes in a pile, taunting her. Specifically, she thought, taunting her about how she didn't put them on and go home. It seemed really rude to leave before Adam got up. He wouldn't do that to her.

Kim looked over and he was still asleep. Or faking it. She wasn't going to wake him up so she could leave. Not yet anyway. She checked her phone. A text from Kevin about maybe seeing a movie today with his sister. She texted back "Moana or Harry Potter?" She'd watch either. A text from Erin just checking in, did Kim want to do brunch or something, debrief on her first week. Kim texted her back, too, suggesting Sunday.

Kevin replied to her text and her phone made a boop boop sound. She'd forgotten she'd turned that back on. Naturally that was the magic noise that woke Adam up. He mumbled something and then said, "Is that your phone?"

"Kevin and his sister want to see Harry Potter again," Kim said. "I'm voting for the 3 pm showing."

"Okay, then," Adam said.

"I'm not inviting you," she said.

"Okay, then," Adam said. "Didn't think you were."

"I wasn't," she said.

"Okay," he said, rolling over and sitting up. He was in really great shape. Great abs. She turned to look back at her phone.

She said, "Look, it's not like, you know, we just shouldn't have done this and we definitely won't again. And please don't say okay again."

"You're very wound up," Adam said.

"I guess it's just, I've been in Intelligence for a week."

"And you've already had sex," Adam said. "That's going to ruin you."

"I don't want a rep," Kim said.

"Erin doesn't have a rep," Adam said.

"Everyone has a rep," Kim said. "It's about what kind of rep you have. I would prefer not to be the girl who slept with a bunch of her partners."

"Did you ever sleep with Kevin?"

"God, no," she said.

"And we weren't partners when we were together. So right now, you've got, what? One partner, one detective," Adam said. "This is not me trying to find out who else you slept with. The Kevin question was just to make my point."

"The point isn't accuracy, it's perception," Kim said.

"Do you really care?"

Kim said, "We're not all you, I have to care." She laid back in the bed. "Weren't you living with Al and his daughter?"

"They found another place, months ago," Adam said. He also laid back on the bed, turned on his side. He had great arms, too. He should not have been this hot and cute, Kim thought. It was cruel to her. She remembered every miserable moment of their break up. It just made her want to sleep in and get back together.

"You got the job," Adam said.

"I need to keep the job," Kim said.

"You're great at the job," Adam said. "There's no chance you won't keep the job."

"You don't think Voight will kick me back downstairs if I violate his no relationships in the unit rule?"

"Erin and Halstead do every single day," Adam said. "Don't tell me he lets Erin get away with everything, because he doesn't."

"I am not Erin," Kim said.

"I like you better," Adam said. He leaned over, clearly about to kiss her.

"I remember your morning breath," she said, leaning away.

"Fine," Adam said.

Kim told herself not to enjoy the view, but she really did like watching him walk to bathroom. "I know I'm being extra paranoid," she said. "It's not like I didn't have fun last night or I don't like you. I do like you."

"I know all that," Adam said. "I get it. I don't agree with it, but I get it. Plus, I know, it's different for women."

"Exactly, it's very different for women cops. And I already have a rep, I can't compound it," Kim said. She didn't make a move to her clothes. She looked at them. They taunted her. They were absolutely taunting her.

"Hey, so what are you planning to do after Intelligence?" Adam stepped out of the bathroom and strolled back to the bed. He strolled.

"I'm not really thinking about that," Kim said. "I want to be in Intelligence for a while."

"But not such a long while that you're not gonna worry about your rep," Adam said, smiling innocently.

She closed her eyes and pulled up the blanket. "I know. I know," she said.

"We can just take it slow," he said. "See where it goes."

She still had her eyes closed when he kissed her. She opened her eyes to look deep in his eyes and really feel how much she wanted this and that he wanted it, too. It was just awful.

Kim said, "I feel like this is a bad idea."

"I feel like we got shot at seven times this week, and a car exploded five feet away from us -"

"More like ten feet," she said. "But yes, I see your point, we could die, let's live now."

"No, I feel good about our chances of surviving," Adam said. "We keep surviving. And I want to enjoy surviving. With you."

Kim smiled. "That is a pretty good point. But we're taking it slow."

"Slow as molasses. Molasses that has sex before you go home to get ready to go see Harry Potter," Adam said. Now he was in top of her, his legs nudged her thighs apart. She wrapped her legs around his hips. "That's what you want, right? But don't say okay."

"You said it three times in a row," she said. She held onto his shoulders.

"I just woke up," he said, laughing. Then everything started to go fast in a really good way.


End file.
